Honoring Loved Ones During the Holidays

As Bereavement Services Coordinator at Lifeline of Ohio, I have helped many families cope with their grief.  With the holiday season upon us, I hope that I may be able to provide, in some small way, something that will help families and friends to “survive” the holidays.

When someone you love dies your life is changed forever, there is a new normal for everyone. You are a different person, but you will know more and be stronger than you can imagine, if you give yourself a chance to be.

Your holidays will not be the same, but the season will continue to come each year. One thing I have learned from our donor families is that the anticipation is worse than the actual day. So here are a few suggestions that I would like to share for donor families or anyone celebrating the holidays without a loved one.

Make plans. Do not just let the days happen.

With the busy lives we all lead I suggest finding a time to have a family meeting.  It gives everyone time to think about what would make them most comfortable for the holidays. This family time can help each person to express their needs. There is no right or wrong way to celebrate.

Take the opportunity to start new traditions. 

Consider planning an activity with family and friends, such as:

• Brunch
• Dessert party
• Tea party
• Tree planting

Do something to honor your loved one.

• Make a holiday memory scrapbook asking family and friends to do a page with a special memory of your loved one.
• Decorate a tree inside or outside for your loved one and invite family and friends to add items to the tree.
• Volunteer at a charity your loved one supported.  Giving is one of the best ways to ease your pain.

During the holidays, the most important thing to remember is to be patient with yourself and others. Take care of yourself, remember to exercise, get your rest and avoid overindulging.

And, don’t feel guilty if you enjoy yourself! Your loved one would not want you to forever grieve, pushing all joy from your life. If you find yourself laughing, or enjoying holiday preparations, you are not insulting your loved one’s memory. You are uplifting it.

The holidays are exactly what you make of it. It can be a joyous time of year or it can leave you feeling sad and lonely. Remember, don’t do anything that makes you uncomfortable — you are the one grieving and need time to do that.

On behalf of all of us at Lifeline of Ohio, I wish you the blessing of hope and peace this holiday season.

Jenny Hoover, Bereavement Services Coordinator

By admin on 12/6/11, In Uncategorized, Tags coping with loss during the holidays, donor families, Hope for the Holidays, organ donors